Jojo

2009 – the year of love

2009-12-11T08:43:00.001+08:00

This is the year of love.

To me and my wife the highlight of the year is of course having our son.

To my brother it's his wedding.

But come December, 2009 is definite the year of hope and love.

I have three beautiful girl friends who in their life were striving to find love.

Thank God, by the end of the year, one got married, the other engaged, and last one find herself a man who really loves her.

So to all my other single lady friends out there, be strong. One day love will find you. All you need to do is believe.

2010 is definitely a year of weddings. Now I have at least two weddings to attend.

Racism

2009-08-26T06:52:00.001+08:00

When you get people from other races discriminating against you, you come to a crossroads – you can either make your future as chicken shit or chicken salad. I can feel this is a bad thing, I will never behave this way. But most people choose vengeance. I choose to make chicken salad – Yasmin Ahmad.

I first experience a racism remark when I was in Standard One. In my primary school where the Chinese dominates, a Chinese male teacher said "Melayu bodoh, Hindu pun sama" in a conversation in front of the class. "Orang Cina pandai matematik"

(In many (I'm not generalizing) northern states, the Indians are called Hindu in northern Malay dialects, not India. It's politically and religiously wrong but that's the fact)

Given the chance now, I would definitely tell him off immediately, but at seven years old, you would only listen but somehow the words stucked in my head. I remembered going home and telling it to my mom.

Any mother now would call the headmaster, hold a press conference and turn it into political/racial fiasco, but my mom in 1982 told me differently.

"You need to study hard and prove him wrong." Was the only thing she said.

I remembered studying hard, not only because I need to prove him wrong but I needed a Nintendo's Game and Watch that was so the in-thing toy kids those days played, and only getting the 1^st place would guarantee my mom buying it.

After the second term exam, I had the 1^st place sharing it with Mohd Akram, another Malay kid. Jivahenthiran was 3^rd in the class.

God created us equally; it is not because of race that guarantees your intelligence.

It is bad to make a racist slur or to brag on racial supremacy. Best of all, it pays to choose chicken salad.

2009-07-29T18:51:00.002+08:00

PIGSHIT

To reveal Yasmin Ahmad as Zulkifli a day after her death. She's dead. Her family is still mourning her loss. You are writing against a dead human, who do not have a choice to retaliate, or choose to ignore the nonsense.

Why can't you do that when Yasmin was alive and kicking? Its your word against a dead woman. Smart? I call it lower than a puss in a swine poo.

Shame on you Kosmo.

How could you sleep at night?

2009-07-29T17:29:00.003+08:00

Yasmin Ahmad - Love and Humility

No parents should bury their young. A pair of aging parents told me that, during the funeral of their only son.

My heart goes out to Mak Inom and Pak Atan on the demise of their child Yasmin Ahmad.
Yes we all love Yasmin, but Allah loves her more.

I have never met Yasmin, but like many who religiously visited her blog, I did manage to communicate with her regularly in her blog. Yasmin being herself made everyone felt welcome with her love and humble nature.

She would mentioned every accolades and awards that her films obtained, but always in a down to earth manner, and always thanking God, with a caption everyone of all religion would expect her to end… Alhamdulillah.

That’s Yasmin that I knew and grew to respect. Not only for her brave and brilliant works in both advertising and film. Yasmin tought me the true meaning of love and humility.
To face negativity and cruel predicaments are best arm with that two elements. Yasmin did that flawlessly.

Thank you Yasmin for everything that you shared with us, and for your kind words when I mourned my father’s death.

Now I mourn your loss and there’s no Yasmin Ahmad that I could look up to.

Al-Fatihah

2008-06-03T16:17:00.002+08:00

My Heroes

I had to thank some heroes of mine. They are pure angels sent by God to help me.

On 20th April 2008 my father passed away at 1.30am. I had a sleepless night, first finishing some reports that my auditor PwC desperately needs to close the account, then sending them to office, finally I was on my way back to Taiping.

At 5.10am I stopped at Shell Petrol station just off the Jalan Duta PLUS toll both. After refuelling the gas, I thought of adding the air for my tires.
I spotted the rear tire was flat, with a huge screw stabbing in it. I was weak, sad and tired.
I started to loose it, and wanted to cry. But my wife and my baby was there and I knew I had to be strong.

I ask for some help from the attendance. He was young, he was unsure of where to locate the jack, but he was helpful.

Then I saw a huge lorry/truck stopping. I approach the drivers, and ask for help. They came, and help. They ask me where I am going.
"Balik mana dik?"
"Taiping, balik kampung"
"Hari Ahad balik kampung, esok tak kerja ke?"
"Bapak saya baru meninggal malam tadi.."

Then the magic started. They quickly finished the job of replacing my tire, straighten everything and said
"bawak kereta baik-baik.. Pergi balik cepat"
I forget to ask their names, forget to give them any reward. But I managed to shake hands with all my heroes.

Thank you, thank you so much.

May Allah bless your life, your kids and your future.
May all of you have heroes like I had.

2008-04-25T16:27:00.000+08:00

Abah

I lost my dad last Sunday. It was the longest day of my life, and the saddest. I just could not imagine life without him, although all this years sometimes I took him for granted.
My parents are the reason why I could stand tall now. There were days when Abah and I, we had our differences. Sometimes, uncontiously I vowed myself never to turn like him, but after he's gone, I'll realise that the even the flaws in him push me to be a better man.

He showed me that life with dignity, cautious and intergrity is divine. He made his simple life as an example. A retired school teacher with a housewife that managed to raised a director, an army major, a field manager, a finance manager and an admin oficer.
Beyond that, he made his kids treasure education, and to withhold intergrity and to fear God. He instilled high morals standard of life. I hope I could touch my childrens' life like what he made with us.

Life will never be the same anymore. Thank you Abah for all the wonderful memories and lessons you have given me. Thanks for all the hard lessons of life that made me a better human.

May Allah bless his soul and may Allah place him among the chosen ones.

Al-Fatihah..

2007-03-13T14:53:00.000+08:00

An Insecure Bitch

I know this woman who loves to ridicule people. Whenever anyone who she thinks is below her, does something that could be beneath her stuff, she would come and ridicule it, back and forth. Anything would come out as a wonder, like “how could you afford that?”

I pity such fool who had to ridicule people in the face to make her felt good.
I pity that her own wealth and social status did not guarantee happiness and confidence in her life.
I pity that she has to surround herself with people she deemed inferior, so that she could taste the superiority in every link of relationship.

Fool.
Don’t flatter yourself with your status or wealth, if at the end of the day all you had to do is ridicule others who have no intention of competing with you. You are just competing with yourself, day and night.

You just competing with your insecurity and that make you a sick and shallow human being.

Fool.

2006-09-08T15:46:00.000+08:00

gygygygygygygygygygygyg

2006-09-06T10:00:00.000+08:00

I feel so stupid.
Syarifah Amani has shocked the nation by saying she felt so stupid when she speaks in Malay.
The whole Malay society, mostly with anti-English agenda, has gone mad, criticizing Amani, her parents, Yasmin Ahmad, Carmen Electra (eik, why is she in the picture?) and the rest of the world. If they really anti-English, why not blame it on Malay Sultans of the 18th centuries that let the English invade Malaya?

I don’t know whether the angry mobs understand the real meaning of Amani’s stupidity. However, they managed to show their own.

An article in Utusan Malaysia blamed her parents, saying that Malays with high education as Amani’s parents, being the Malay yuppies are proud to use English at home while ignoring Malay language. Are there any sins here? Why Amani’s upbringing should be an issue?

Suddenly using English at home for Malay family has been regarded as ‘melupakan nilai bangsa’ and Malay families that produce children who speak English better than Bahasa Melayu has been condemned as show-off?
Duhhh.. stupid pricks.

Mathematics and Science, for several years, has been taught in English in all schools throughout Malaysia. Unless you want Malay students becoming the majority failing those crucial subjects, you call Amani stupid.
(yes, Malays students are the majority failing both subjects!)

Yet that group yells when the statistics in local universities shows Malay students are minority in the science stream, which require good English command.
And they yell again when Malay personnel are still the minority in the professional field, again, requires good English skills.

Stupid assholes, unless Science and Math are taught in Malay, and using Jawi instead of Rumi in the business world, you don’t critic English speaking Malay.
Our government has change the rule;
Science and Math require good command of English!

Wake up and smell the air. English is now very important for young Malays. Failing Bahasa Melayu has no effect on your SPM anymore. I am not saying lets ignore Bahasa Melayu. I am saying let’s instill more English in our daily conversation at home. Be proud that you are Malay and yet recognize the importance of English language.

Yes Amani might be an asshole for not using Malay in her victory speech, when she did win the award for acting in Filem Melayu, but don’t blame her upbringing or her parents.
Did we blame Lina Joy’s parents for her murtad? I don’t think so!

2006-09-04T16:00:00.000+08:00

Sometimes Allah gives us little stumbles to keep us humble.

I thank God for all the stumbles that I had throughout my life. At least I am in His short list, and the stumbles would hopefully keep me grounded and thankful.

The stumbles were tiring, plus mentally, physically and emotionally painful. Afterall, imagine losing a car, TWICE!

May Allah protect me from questioning His doings and from doubting His will.
I used to wonder why, among all the people, that disastour should struck me repeatedly.
I used to question why a lesser God frighten soul could keep all his possession in tact, when I kept losing my belongings.
I used to question why should I keep praying to Him, if it was rewarded by repeating stumbles.

Luckily I got back to my senses. Nothing last forever. What remains to death is your faith. All you need to do is, after praying to Him, is Surrender All to Him and let Him decide your faith. Submit yourself to Him and believe in Qada’ and Qadar.

Alhamdullillah for all the stumbles. Nauzubillah for the upcoming ones.
May Allah protect us all.

2006-08-30T17:11:00.000+08:00

The Peacocks, the Assholes and a lost Soul

No one can miss the silly show-off weddings of one silly singer to an older man. Too bad that the media run their so called love story for days, we had to put up with details of the dresses, the dowrys, the mushy love life and even how they address each other.
Silly peacocks!

While the peacocks were busy with their show-off, a stupid and broken pair of assholes had to come out nation wide in a tell-all tale spilling infos on how their so called engagement faded. One with a veiled dumb blonde persona, while the other with refrain and regret face, claerly thinking why am I here? Can't they both realised that they were just two stupid pawns that Astro and RTM had sacrificed just to compete with TV3's peacock show in tv ratings rivalry? They were simply a disgrace to all Johoreans.
Silly assholes.

Meanwhile, a man sits quietly, calculating his lost. His working shoe, his favourite CDs, his wife's shoes, his daughter's pram, toys and other stuff, all gone in his stolen car.
Silly little soul.

2006-05-02T13:20:00.000+08:00

Affair.

It has been a long time since my post. Sorry, I was busy. I have an affair. I now love another woman.
I know I am married. I still see my lovely wife everyday. But however, people change. And I am just human.
The new gal has now position herself on the top of the pedestal, being the love of my life. I still love my wife. But I can't stop loving this girl.
I am in love. Its not lust, its pure love.

Let me describe about this gal.
She is cute, petite yet very demanding. She wants to be constantly pampered. She is just so fashion concious that she demands at least 5 change of outfits per day. I spent my weekends buying her stuff. I have spent most of my salary just for her.

Yes she is high maintainance and demanding. Big deal.

My nights are now spent cuddling this precious girl.
I have to hold her and hug her till she sleeps. She is one spoilt lady...
And she wants me to concentrate more on her than my wife. Yet I have no regrets.

Luckily my wife understood the situation. She is willing to share me with this gal.

But who doesn't?

2006-03-09T17:35:00.000+08:00

How to pay the Johore Toll

I was asked by a friend, who is marrying a Johorian girl on the toll paying procedure. Like any other non Johorian, it was an alien and unusual thing for me at first, as normally, whenever I am paying the toll, I always thought that my money would end up to PLUS, or Samy Vellu.

Here are some tips to non Johorian..
check all the listed infos with your fiancee, if the answer is "I don't know.."
then you might end yourself marrying a Johorian dumb blonde, hahahaha

1. Determine how many layers of toll
There are normally (at least) three layers of toll, depending on the kenduri place,
balcony (full of kids)
front entrance / door : (full of girls)
pelamin (full of aunties and a mak andam)
if you're unlucky, the uncles might form one layer too.. and this folks love to check the RM

2. Determine the going rates
If you are marrying the normal down to earth simple people ,
then RM1 for kids, RM5 for the girls, RM10 for the aunties and RM50 for mak andam
however, if your future in laws are posh, up scale, the rates are higher....
even worst, if your in-laws are the social climbers family, the rates are lethal, pocket-wise...

3. Determine the no of people working with PLUS
your fiancee should give you an estimate of the kids and aunties and cousins or girlfriends that might want to form the line...
Double the nos, if she said 20 kids might stand in line, prepare 40 envelopes for kids, same goes for the girls and aunties... but mak andam remains 1 envelope
keep the balance of the envelopes, dont show to the Johorian.. hehehe

4. Check the mak andam rate
your fiancee should have met the mak andam in-advanced, get her to ask the rate. Some mak/pak andam might even go higher, I even heard RM300..

5. Elect the toll payer
Common mistake among non-johorian is handling all envelopes in various amount of cash to one person, normally the best man to distribute the toll. Erkkkk, wrong.

The best man is then confused and gave kids the RM10 envelopes and the aunties might pissed getting RM1, forcing your entourage to open wallets and handbags to churn out money and making everyone not enjoying the toll ceremony,
(by the way, no one is happy paying the toll at the toll booth, why should this be any different?, hahahaha)

Give RM1 to one ppl (best is your loud spoken aunties), Rm5 to another, RM10 to the next person. Inform them the values and the role.
Every toll payer should remark "don't open the envelopes" jokingly when distributing the toll.

Never allow the best man to hold all the envelopes. He should only keep the mak andam's, and for security reason, have some extra cash in hand should the andam person goes nasty and becomes greedy.

6. Apply the at the highway toll booth attitude at the wedding ceremony....
When you are driving at the toll booth, cars lining up heading to the booth, don't you just move every inch possible to front, blocking everyone? when you pass the gate, pay the fees, don't you just speed off hastily?
Apply that to the wedding!
Your best man is your driver, and you are the passanger, he should grab you and move ahead whenever there's a space. That's why its best to pass the payment to your aunties, the kids, girls and the brides aunties might be rushing and surround her like hyeanas leaving you and the best man to move forward, closer to the pelamin. Be tackful, cunning and brutal. Ask your best men to wink at the girls or even aunties, if necessary, hahahahaha

Have fun. I know, its your money going down the drain, but look happy and cheerful. The Johorian take it as a fun ceremony.. so put a happy face and smile, even if the PLUS people are greedy..

A good and wise Johorian family would not impose a harsh toll ceremony to non-Johorian,
that's what my mak andam and my mother in-law noted, as outsiders having no clue of what's going on, might confused and jump angrily to the demands...

Have fun and congrats for passing the Johor pre marital HIV test,

2006-03-01T18:46:00.000+08:00

I am now a dad. It was such a long day at Ampang Puteri, but finally, I am now a dad. A proud one too, who'd behave like any newly fathered man, anxious on showing the child's pic and highlighting that they have someone coming from them. The "show-off overexcited dad" or SOD!

I used to hate those guys. I thought they were losers who have to show off their child to justify that they have no social life coming ahead. Well I thought wrong! Somehow they were overjoy of having someone from their seed that its crucial to share the happiness around.
The question is, "is everyone willing to share it?"

Off course, I did not simply forward my child's pic to everyone that I knew, minus Aida, Sarah & Iza, and my sister, my friend Yohan, my colleagues, my parents, my CSU friends,my neighbour, my old schoolmate, my wife's colleagues...

Damn.. I am just another SOD!

To Fahroe, hope you'll join the club soon.
Get MARRIED first, by the way, hehehehe.

2005-09-16T15:23:00.000+08:00

Cooking = Food = Drug

I love cooking. I think I’ve inherited the love from my mom. My mom has a daughter and four sons. All her four sons, like her are good cook. My sister, being the eldest, on the other hand excels in management. I think she inherits that from my dad.

I started cooking seriously when I was in Australia. I had to call my mom getting the right steps and guidance to prepare several dishes. Several friends also taught me on techniques and recipes on several dishes. In order to gain extra money, I had to work as a kitchen helper in a Chinese restaurant. I even had to cook pork. Sweet sour pork. Chicken rolls with ham. Pork spring rolls. Chinese chicken rice with ham.

I had the entire icky ness of holding pork that most Muslim Malays have blown away for money, then. Being a student with small monthly allowance from my sponsor, I had to gain extra money to survive. I remember kicking the grass under the lemon tree in front of my house to get some dirt for samak every time returning home from work.

I thing cooking is fun, as the end result = food. Food makes people happy and calm. Some people even use food as drugs. Imagine the power and goodness of preparing food, i.e. ‘the drug’ that can calm people, making them happy?

The question is how good is the food or drug that you cook? If there is a rating, it should be measured by the reaction of the person eating your food. If it makes people vomit, then its bad and you should never be allowed to cook anymore. If it makes you cringe, get someone to teach you how to cook. If yours makes people smile, happy and content, then get into the kitchen more often. You make people happy. You are the drug pusher.
Sometimes, a cooking / food so good, it makes people horny. Such skilled chef should be celebrated, because he has managed to build a food drug lab in the kitchen.

However, the ultimate food master is a person that can cook so good, anyone eating his food will find it so enjoying that they reach orgasmic state of mind while eating the food. I have seen that, I have experience that. I think it’s funny to see a person from hungry turn to Meg Ryan’s character in “When Harry met Sally.”

Enjoy your food. Get a life.

2005-09-14T16:22:00.000+08:00

The Big 30!

Today I turn 30. Somebody said that I must be sad, for not being 20plus, and becoming old, of turning 30.
I beg to differ. 30 is just a number. It is just the same of last year, when I was 29, or even when I was 21, nine years ago. Although, nine years ago I celebrated them in a club in a small town called Wagga Wagga, receiving hugs and birthday kisses from many, including some drunken Aussie classmates.

What matter most is how you look at your life, and how you appreciate of what you have. Most importantly, are you happy? Not for being 30, but for being yourself.

Although, being thirty but receiving the shocked face and remarks like
“You? Thirty? But you look like 26!!” is like a big fat bonus too! Hahaha

I am thankful with what I have, (although I am a true believer of “wanting more”).

I would like to thank my family for being there. Thank you guys.
To my wife that has been a great partner, and a great companion. I love you.

To my friends, especially the Bukit Antarabangsa gang, thank you for the support and friendship. Thanks for being the ears and support through the drama of 2001-2002. That was a tragic moment but you guys stuck like glue, supporting me strong.

As I view my life, after 30 years, I may not have the salary that I dreamt of, but at least I have a monthly income.
I may not live in the house that I wanted but God willing, but at least I have a roof over my head.
I may not have the money and wealth that glitter but I am rich for having my family and my good friends.

That’s my life. It may not be that enticing to you but, duh.. its not your life.
Get your own life.

Happy 30th Birthday to Liza Kecik and my friend Gee in Sabah. To all my friends that turn 30 this year.. proceed your life with grace and happiness.

Get a life. A 30 years life!

2005-09-12T18:04:00.001+08:00

Batu Belah Batu Bertangkup, a Malay horror legend.

When I was a kid, my late grandmother used to tell me folk/fairy tales. One of my favourite was "Batu Belah Batu Bertangkup", where the pregnant mother frustrated by her son, who has eaten the tembakul fish roe that she craved, plunged herself into the man-eating rock/cave mouth. It used to scare me for years, of the idea of my mom would plunge herself if we(me and my brothers) finish any food without leaving some for her.

But my mom came to the rescue. "Why would I kill myself for not able to eat some food if my children could be well fed?" said mom. And my mom, in her humourous way stated that the mother of Batu Belah was the example of the worst mother any human being could be, highlighting that some Malay folkstories are just pure bullshit.

Why would you kill yourself, leaving two helpless children for some stupid fish roe? Aren't the kids hers? If they really meant the world for her, would she be contended that her five year old son ate that roe. And be happy with it.
Go murtad, living in hell for eternity (for killing herself) for some stupid fish roe? Stupid bitch. Get a live. If you are so frustrated with the world, don't eat tembakul fish roe. Eat mariguana or cocca roots. Plain and simple. She was just one crazy drama queen gone wacko.

Think of that situation in the current environment. The two kids would be sent to foster family. The girl could be having a had time getting hitched as the society would label her as the daughter of a suicide lady aka crazy drama queen bitch who couldn't live with tembakul fishroe.
"Marry her and she'll kill herself for not getting a ticket for Ramlah Ram dangdut's concert, just like her mother!"
Thats a hard label stamped in the daughter's face.

That's just one scenario. Giving that as an example, I think it is wise if the government would ban or label Batu Belah Batu Bertangkup as SX18, filter it as unIslamic and morally degrading plus raise awareness for mothers to enhance the love and giving more to the children.

Thats all. I may not elaborate more. My blog is suppose to be catchy. So to the original author of Batu Belah Batu Bertangkup, a spoilt child is not an excuse to commit suicide. And please, you really need the mother to commit suicide, let her die in a more glamourous ways, like being stamped by elephant, knocked by kereta lembu or eaten by tembakul fish that's actually the Malay version of piranha.

Cool huh?

2005-08-01T17:44:00.000+08:00

Car Missing : The dos and don'ts.

A few years ago, I lost my car. Well, actually, I lost many other things then, but let's just stick on the car.

You might feel sick, you might want to cry, scream, rape someone, curse, or even put yourself in the most embarassing pose in public. Whatever you do, it'll be forgiven. Read on, this might be useful someday..

Here's what to do, should any of you experience the trauma like I had.

Do not panic. Its just a car, its insured.
Check your payment with your finance company, if you have missed more than two installments, your finance company might have towed them away. Call the finance company and verify with them first.
Go to your nearest police station, bring all the necessary documents, ie

copy of the registration card
copy of your NRIC
copy of your driving license

The police will then refer your case to the nearest Crime Investigation Police Dept. Get copies of your report. Confirm with the investigating officer (normally i the rank of sergeant) on the final date for them to close the case.
Bring the report to your insurance company. Make sure your form is in order.

Bring along the original copy of your insurance policy.

Call your finance company and get their latest amount outstanding from you, for your hire purchase agreement. send the details to your insurance company.
Get the closing of case letter from the investigating police office. this letter will verify that the police found that your car could not be located, and they will close the case.

The insurance company will now send an adjuster to the crime scene, where the car owner will be interviewed, and they will send report to insurance company on the status, etc.

You have to call the insurance company (repeatedly) to follow up on the progress.

Bank Negara Malaysia has stated that any insurance claim should be settled before 6 months from the date you submitted your claim. Any other reason to delay your claim is a total bullshit.

If you have submitted every documents stipulated by the insurance company, and they still delaying things, write a formal letter of complain to Bank Negara. Write to Jabatan Pengawalan Insurans, for details, look at the back of your insurance policy.

Should your insurance company send you a settlement offer letter, stating the percentage that they are willing to pay, make sure you reach to satisfactory percentage (mine was 98% of the insured amount) You can argue and negotiate to have a higher settlement.

Get the original copy of the registration card from you finance co., both of your car keys, yes both keys, and some indemnity and acknowledgement letters from the finance company agreeing to release the rights to the stolen car to the insurance co.

Thats it. After you receive the payment, its time to browse for a new car...

Good luck.

2005-07-28T17:28:00.000+08:00

My friend Aida is keen on writing about food in her blog. She said she would let other friends to write on other things, like beauty tips or slimming secret. Hehehe.
I do not know about all the above, as a person blessed with natural good looks, (hahahahahaha, Aida might be vomitting now) I do not need all those.
I only thing that I need is for people with flawless acne free, baby butt face to stop giving advise on acne, and promote products on acne prevention.
This happened a lot when I was younger as the hormones are imbalance. Now, thanks to old age and one wonderful God sent product, the pimples are all gone!

As a person with pimples, you do not need stupid advise from clean face promoters to persuade you to use their stuff. Do you think that I'm such an idiot to let my face full of small boils? Do you think I purposely apply cooking oil and dirt everynight so that I could get acne?
"Wash your face carefully, you did not wash them that often", said the sales lady.
Duhhh, bitch, tell me something I don't know.

To all stupid promoters, if we need advise on pimples, we'll ask, if not, don't come and try to sell your products, as we might have tried them, and they didn't work, or you with baby butt clean have no single clue of how sickening and embarrassing we might be that you've highlighted our facial problem in public. Stop making a fuss about it. And don't give us that look, like we are so unhygenic, as we probably wash our face more than you clean your asshole.

We would, however, appreciate to receive advise from someone who had terrible acne before, but have tried something that works, and now try to share the secret. And would tell us in 'I've been there before' manner.
As for me, use Dalacin-T solution, it worked on me, my pimples are now gone.

Dedicated to my good and beautiful friend, Terry.

2005-07-22T17:49:00.000+08:00

If you are given a choice, to be someone of the opposite sex, who would you be?

As for me, I would have to check on my shortlist. Madonna comes into mind. Isn't she has it all? From a virgin, to a slut, a prayer, a yoga practioner and lastly a mum. And can she recall all the men?
Hmm, if I was Madonna, I would send a return airway ticket to me, the man, and have sex. It will not be making love, just sex. Well, the sex might be lousy (as per Madonna's standard, come on, cut me some slack) but me in Madonna is doing me in the man's body a huge favour.

Next I would really want to be Oprah. What other woman can have such a power over the world? Being Oprah, I would invite me the man, who finally has managed to lay on Madonna. How did you do it? Are you that good that she has to send a round trip ticket? Me in Oprah would put me in the man's body in limelight, giving myself the 15 minutes of fame. It may not be that glittering, but for the time being, hello Hollywood.

Finally, I would want to be Nicole Kidman. And again, me in Nicole would send me in the man's body a round trip ticket, and again, the Oprah cycle continues. All this may sound stupid, but hey, its my freaking blog. If you hate this, create your own blog.

2005-07-21T17:25:00.000+08:00

Hi.

My friend Aida wrote on kuey teow. She is so obsessed of kuew teow that she has rated three best keow teow places (based on her liking) in her blog. Well I think I should write something about my obsession too.
Maybe one day I'll write something on sex. Maybe the other day I write something on John Grisham or Lord Jeffrey Archer. Maybe I'll write about my good friends, since I'm fond of them too. Maybe someday I'll write on my favourite tv shows. Or my long obsession on Nicole Kidman. Or the evening sickness that my wife had now she's pregnant. I'm not complaining, that's the price that we have to pay to get us a child. Maybe I'll write about cooking, and how I love stuffing my friends and watch their getting thin diet flushing away with the calories and fats dripping in from my cooking. Sorry guys. Haha.

Ohh, I love writing about some bitches and sons of bitches who always make my day miserable. Be it the man who cut lanes when its pack and congested on my way to work. Or the stupid lady who drove too slow when I need to rush to office. An idiot who gave my handphone nos to his friends and registered in SMS services using my number (012-1234567) when his actual number is 019-1234567. Yesterday somebody called, and asked for him, I just lightly said that Cik Lah (that's his short name) is dead, and hang out the phone. Hahahaha.

Maybe. For now, I'd settle for writing what I'm gonna write. Reading all this, you may find that its boring and leading nowhere. Well, serve you right suckers! Go back to work!